so i had a really long chat with an old friend this morning. she's one of those peeps who cares deeply about folks- would do anything for almost anyone. she never runs out of energy. she's just amazing, but she's quirky and opinionated and can absolutely grate my nerves sometimes. the beautiful thing with all this is that i can tell her she's crowding me or to back up- she does and with no hard feelings. but anyway...we were chatting this morning and she sorta gave me a dressing down- fussed at me about my recent negativity towards district leadership. chastised me for not being a stronger leader (could have SWORN i mentioned yesterday's blog that i'm a damn good follower). she made some valid points and tossed some things out there for me to chew on.
funny thing is...while we were chatting, other teachers were in and out, and of course, they couldn't help but hear some of what she was saying. she wasn't sayin in a mean tone at all, but she was calm and quite matter of fact...i really miss being on her team. anyway, one of the other teachers made a comment to me later that she was amazed that anyone dared talk to me that way--- wtf. she sayin i'm difficult? SIGH. ok, maybe i am. it still bugs the piss outta me to hear that i intimidate peeps. kinda makes me feel all bitchy or whatever. i do not try to put off that vibe; i am just me and i don't really give a damn if that's a problem. you can take me or you can leave me and i'm ok with that. hey, that's what makes the world spin 'round.
so i guess i'm sayin... i'm deeply confused about my path. i know a part of me says, c'mon chic, you're ready to move on and take another district by storm. another part of me says, c'mon chic, you've never backed down from a challenge in your life. see? my pieces-parts are argumentative and stubborn as hell. i just need to let my emotions run their course and settle in so i can hear my gut.
and so today, i sported a fresh attitude, courtesy of my buddy, and i'm thinkin it felt pretty damn good. one day at a time ole gal; one day at a time.
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