well, ha...failed my first test with controlling my 'tude. after school today, i got some news i wasn't particularly pleased to hear and i felt all the yuck come flooding back into my soul-- kinda like my kitchen floor. i can sweep. i can mop. and despite my efforts, in a matter of time, 'twill be dirty once more. well-- my soul is there now...like my kitchen floor, trod upon with muddy soles. full of dirt to sully my mood. sigh, yes, i succumbed and felt all defeated again. and underneath that, i felt that clawing desperation to fight for air, to fight for anything because i feel backed into a corner...for no reason other than to allow some insecure soul to assert control in a feeble attempt to bolster that ego
and here i sit, alone in my darkened and silent classroom, fighting for control of my inner self. fighting to regain some semblance of grace and flexibility and open-mindedness
yes, i feel better now...and i'm off to face a few demons
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