interconnectedness

i'm perpetually amazed at the interconnectedness of moods and attitudes (hence my blog title). of late, our district has been in a tumultuous state of volatile moods and attitudes, and i have allowed much of that drama to permeate my peaceful space and put me on the roller coaster of doom and gloom. it's not a fun ride, nor is it a place i wish to reside for much longer.

a colleague set her googletalk status as "act or accept...choice is yours" and man, it was one of those random thoughts that pierced my negativity and hit me right between the eyes. she's sooooo talking to me (not really but hey, why not). that is indeed the choice with which i am faced...act- as in leave or accept- as in without dissension or grumbling too loud. hmmm, i'm not so sure i'm ready to leave. i go through periods where i'm thinking- this is not a healthy environment and i need to leave it for my own sake. other times i feel like hrmph- this is MY school, MY district, MY home now and you're just here temporarily- i'll be here when ya go; you're not pushing me out. that's just where i am.

so maybe i need to spend some times chewing on what it really might mean- to act or to accept. maybe leaving isn't the only viable action for me. i often wonder about just going to the root of the problem and having a chat. i actually gave that a go once, but it didn't go far. i suppose those peeps you talk to need to sort of need to be open- they need to let go of the almighty (and not-quite-real) illusion of control. sigh...next idea?

whoops, i think i went off on a tangent i wasn't quite ready to hit yet. back to the moods and 'tudes...maybe this is a time i can actually use my renowned propensity for being controlling myself and do some controlling OF myself. i can leash that negativity and stop showing when i feel defeated. i can be more open to the direction that the powers that be are pushing our district and maybe i'll be able to see what they see (or think they see). am certainly unwilling to trust blindly but am definitely able to be more open-minded and flexible.

and maybe, just maybe, my moods will slow that pendulum that swings me into beserk-land when something else happens here and my over all 'tudes will even out. hey, that might even clean up a few more edges, eh?